pique

I was searching for ebooks on my topic for my public speaking major presentation when this guy im-ed me. I didn't realize that he was online because i put my status as busy and on windows live, when your status is busy, you're not notified of those who went online. So anyway, i was already frustrated at the time as i've been looking for credible internet sources (that was hard!) and free ebook downloads for an hour plus. He just fueled up my frustration even more and began to annoy me. This was how the conversation went.

sinead just sent you a nudge.

You have just sent a nudge.

sinead says: hw u
safwana says: fine tq
safwana says: how r u?
sinead says: im fine ty too
safwana says: so hows life so far?
ma mrta Ha says: average
ma mrta Ha says: urs?
safwana says: busy
ma mrta Ha says: k (this was the point when i sensed something was up)
safwana says: r u angry with me or something?
ma mrta Ha says: nope
safwana says: ok.......then
ma mrta Ha says: i want to be ur bf (ok, that stunned me a lil' bit, quite bold eventhough it's through i.m)
ma mrta Ha says: but u dont want me
ma mrta Ha says: :(
safwana says: wow...that's direct
ma mrta Ha says: exactly
safwana says: i have my reasons y i choose not to be attached
safwana says: im leaving soon i hope, i think end of aug (that's partly true, just a really tiny part, lol, the truth was that i don't want to be involved with people i meet on the net, and i just realized that i'm not attracted to guys like him, you know the kind that's very 'out there', direct, comes on pretty strong sometimes, yeah, that kind of guys. so i told him that tiny truth so as not to hurt his feelings.)
ma mrta Ha says: k
safwana says: so do u understand y now?
ma mrta Ha says: k
safwana says: ok what's with the single syllable?
ma mrta Ha says: cos i give up
safwana says: did u just nudge me to tell me that?
ma mrta Ha says: yes
safwana says: ok well, tq? (this wasn't what i wanted to reply. i actually wanted to say this - "well, i kind of figured that out when you stopped calling and texting when i didn't pick up or text back" btw, i have 3 good reasons for that action. First, i was in Singapore. Second, i wasn't there for a holiday. Third, i was busy studying for my SAT II which was fast approaching. Obviously, my priorities and attention were elsewhere)
safwana says: is that the response ur looking for?
ma mrta Ha says: no
safwana says: then what do u want me to say?
ma mrta Ha says: i want u to be my bf (wait a sec, didn't he just tell me he gave up, so what the hell was this?)
safwana says: u want me to say that?
safwana says: but y?
safwana says: honestly
ma mrta Ha says: ya
ma mrta Ha says: cos i want u' (again, i thought he gave up already!)
safwana says: but u dont even know me
safwana says: we've never met
safwana says: i havent seen u in person
safwana says: u don't know what i'm like
safwana says: how can u possibly want someone u haven't even met?
safwana says: explain that

And then just like that, he was offline. I don't actually think he signed out but just blocked me. I think i pissed him off. Well, he was starting to piss me off, hence that monologue, lol. Geez, i don't understand some people. I know i must seem really mean, like a b****, but i don't know how to deal with people like that. I tried being nice, it never works. I really don't like how he's so pushy. Guys, take note. That is not an attractive quality to have! Anyway, i just thought i let of some steam here.

“My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual" - Phyllis Diller